As a child I grew up in a safe environment (or let’s rather say an environment in which a child accepts the circumstances as ‘safe’). Safe from unashamed crime, safe from the explicit media and also safe from a broken heart.
As a girl I had a dream. A dream of a perfect future. The perfect life as an adult. I had the typical dream in my mind that I would one day marry the one and only handsome prince of the town, who chose me above the rest, and that I will have a fairytale wedding where nothing goes wrong. This prince will protect me and love me when I just think about the desire. I also imagined a family with perfect, well-behaved children who never spills anything and always tidies up without me asking them to do so. Children of my own whom I can raise as I please and love without ever stopping. I imagined a beautiful house where all I had to do was to be a loving and caring mother and wife. Now I realized, as an adult, that this perfect life I imagined as a little girl was not pretty much the dream I really want now…
Because in the times we live in, the prince is usually the heartbreaker who messes with women’s feelings. Every man has a weak point - the one where he sometimes has to love a woman beyond his comfort and strength. No wedding is perfect, especially the ones where everyone fights about which one of the three mothers and which one of the three fathers will sit next to the bride and groom at their table. Every child spills and needs disciplining – even sooner than you would think possible. Sometimes it’s simply tough to love a man or a child in a moment of weakness, anger and frustration.
I have learned to fight for what I want and need to survive in life, but even fighting doesn’t help… Because somewhere out there people with money will get what they want, because most things in life goes to the one that offers the extra cent. Somewhere out there people with positions of authority will use it to get what they want, even if you are the humble, submissive and honest one. Somewhere out there people will tell lies in the face of your loved ones, and they will probably succeed in turning your loved ones against you.
What these people don’t realize is that money can pay bribes, pay lawyers, buy cars and mansions, but it will never buy love, joy and contentment. In fact, it will never buy God’s blessing or a ticket to get into heaven. Authority won’t bring these people far, even if they think so, because before the Lord we are all equal in authority and no one is in a better position than the other. Lies will not even bring them as far as they thought it would, because the truth is always revealed when it is least expected and when they are on their weakest. For the Lord, a liar is a fool.
There is no perfect picture of the perfect life as an adult in this world. That happens only in movies – and let’s be honest, older ones. Because the newer movies all agree to and portray broken homes, failing love, affairs and lust. More open and more acceptable than ever. And then the dream I had in my mind as a little girl disappears when I have to fight for a future of fairness, true love and a God of hope. If I don’t fight for fairness, I will never gain what is fair towards me and the ones I love. If I don’t work hard to make true love last, then it slips through my fingers into the hands of a thief. If I don’t renew my mind daily and trust God for provision, the devil simply fills that gap in plant thoughts of everything I don’t stand for in my mind. And before I realize, I fight for what is wrong and not what is right.
Through the worst day, I will praise God and know that He is the Prince of peace who will always love me, no matter what. He will always provide that extra bit of comfort that no man on earth can give a woman. I will praise God, because I am part of His bride on earth and He is preparing the perfect wedding feast for us where nothing can go wrong. I will praise God, because in His eyes I am made perfect and I don’t need to be a perfect wife or mother to be a worthy one. I am worthy! I will praise God, because He is the One that holds every cent in this world in His hands and He will provide my every need. I will praise God, for I know I have a guaranteed ticket of everlasting life. I will praise God, for I know the plans He has for me is to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me hope and a future.
I don’t have to fight any more – God already won the fight for me.
by Letitia Claassen on Sunday, June 5, 2011 at 10:45pm